Leisure?

It’s been a long time since I’ve lived with a mountain of tasks piled up in front of me. I sometimes wonder if it’s because the company I currently work at is notoriously busy, but when I think about how I was always busy even before joining this company, it seems like it’s just my personality that doesn’t allow for much slack. I really dislike wasting time idly.

In the past, I always lived busily with that mindset, but recently my thinking has changed a bit. In order to truly use time well, a certain amount of free time is necessary. When pressed for time, it’s hard to make good-quality decisions. And the aftermath of that is not insignificant. A few weeks later, there comes a moment of regret: if only I had made this decision back then, I wouldn’t be doing this work now!

Since the company I work for is notoriously grueling, I often see colleagues around me who are, like me, always in a busy situation. People who always have mountains of work piled up, but who are respected for solving problems with high competence. Yet among such people, there are also those who just work without any sense of direction. It feels like looking in a mirror, so it’s a complicated feeling.

I don’t want to just work without direction. In the future, I want to remember this time as a time when I worked meaningfully and without regret.